Let us begin.

“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

At the root of all change must lie love, compassion, and empathy for ourselves and for others. Truth be told, I have not been loving. I have been angry. I have been angry at the world and angry at myself. I have been raging along with the rest of humanity, a red ball of anger, bobbing up and down as the waves relentlessly push me dangerously towards the edge.

I am not, by nature, an angry person. Most people would consider me funny, loud, passionate, and giving among other things, but not angry. I have spent the last 30 years focused on the hard, and often ignored, inner work that is meant to change and shift ones indoctrinated belief system. It has been challenging, humbling and oftentimes painful. Children are sensitive to injustice, prejudice, and to lies they are fed by adults around them. They often struggle to speak up and when they do, their voices often go unheard. After so many years of being silenced, rage is inevitable. I knew, after years of inner conflict and rage, I needed to change.

I was a very happy and spirited child that saw life as a playground waiting to be explored. I was also angry. Rage lived within me and at times its energy shifted outward. I would throw chairs, break the heads off of my dolls, and peel wallpaper from the walls of my bedroom in secret so no one could see. As a teenager I would rage when my hair didn’t look just right by smashing my brush against the cold bathroom tile. At one point, I remember telling one of my mother’s friends that I was worried that I would beat my children if I had any.

I was self aware at a young age. I knew who I was and what I wanted and what I didn’t. Internally, I was at odds with the rage that would consume me in an instant. It often appeared out of nowhere and without reason. It was only as an adult that I recognized the source of my anger. I was angry at a society that I knew was broken. I was angry because I could see the real world in front me beyond the facade of smoke and mirrors and I couldn’t breathe.

What do we do with anger? How can we transform it? Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk and peace activist notably said,” I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight. I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness with non-violence.” We need to shed light on the source of our anger in order to identify and embrace it. Only then can it transform into peace.

Anger is powerful. It can harm, destroy and be used as a weapon. However, anger can also be used as a tool for growth. “We need anger, and there are negative consequences for those without it,” says Aaron Sell, a social psychologist at Australia’s Griffith University. There are advantages to anger. In the absence of anger, Sell adds, “there would be no emotional environment in which to persuade, negotiate and progress in a relatively safe way without overt war and mayhem at every frustration.” Anger can also help us heal.

The path to healing our anger begins with the recognition that we all suffer. It is through our suffering that we begin to understand others. John Steinbeck wrote, “If you understand each other, you will be kind to each other.” We are now facing a pivotal time in our lives where we have a choice to let our anger lead us into darkness, or we can use it to build a culture of unity by exchanging ideas with empathy and open minds. Together, let’s choose the latter.